Down Syndrome Girl

Chords

Standard

Bb
You've got to look your best tonight,
    C
You tubby little parasite,
        F                              Bb
'Cause there's a lovely lady and she's waiting for you.
    Bb
And though her pretty face may seem
   C
A special person's wettest dream
  F                                Bb
Before you get to see it there are things you must do.
      Eb    Ebm     Bb
We'll try a tie and boutonniere of yellow
     Eb        Ebm        Bb
Or a rose that shows that you're a classy fellow
         Eb      Ebm     Bb           G
With the posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello
C             F
Busting out a mile with style.

  Bb
I know you just can't wait to stare
   C
At all that luscious orange hair
     F                              G
But, boy, before you touch a single curl,
    Eb                Ebm
You must impress that ultra bloomin',
Bb             G
All-consumin', poorly groomin'
 F               Bb
Down's Syndrome girl.

   Bb
On any normal day you reek
   C
As if you're on a farting streak.
     F                                  Bb
Your finger's up your nose And you are dripping with drool.
    Bb
But if you want a lady's love,
       C
You're better off by smelling of
   F                              Bb
A gentleman's cologne instead of sneakers and stool.

  Eb         Ebm
A squirt, a spurt
   Bb
Of something just for Ellen
           Eb        Ebm
And you'll see, that she
     Bb
Will find you so compellin'
        Eb       Ebm
And she does, because
    Bb              G
The only smell that she'll be smellin'
C                F
Won't be coming from your bum.

    Bb
You wanna take that little whore
    C
And spin her on the dancing floor,
    F                           G
But boy, before you do a single twirl,
    Eb                 Ebm
You must impress that effervescing,
Bb               G
Self-possessing, no BS-ing
F               Bb
Down's Syndrome girl.

F, G

    C
Her eyes are emerald portals
                    G
To a secret land of love
                                          C
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower.
    C
Her kiss is so inviting
        E
And her hugs are so delighting,
         B                 A
And what makes them really nice
                E            Db
Is that they've got a little spice,

Because they're tighter than a vise
            Gb
And they go on for an hour.


{Cut to immeadiate key-change} D Eb

   Ab
My boy, between the two of us,
      Bb
We'll get you on that shorty bus
    Db                               C
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl.
    Db              E                Ab                Fm
Now go impress that super-thrilling, Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling,
Db              E               Ab              Fm
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing, Gaily singing, dingalinging,
Db           E          Ab             Fm
Stupefying, fortifying, As of Monday, shoelace tying,
Db           E            Ab         Fm
Stimulating, titillating, Kitty-cat impersonating,
Db            E               Ab            Fm
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking, Just a little crooked walking,
Db             E                 Ab             Fm
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting: For some reason always shouting,
Db           E             Ab           F
Fascinating, captivating, Happiness and joy creating...

Eb              Ab
Down's Syndrome Girl!