Bill Bailey is a comedian/musician/actor from the UK. His live shows are a mixture of stand-up and original comic songs. He has four albums (two studio, two live) and four live DVDs.  He plays Manny Bianco in the sitcom &quot;Black Books&quot; and was a permanent fixture of &quot;Never Mind the Buzzcocks&quot; on the BBC for 11 series' until October 2008. Bill has done 4 live tours so far:- Cosmic Jam, Bewilderness, Part Troll and Tinselworm.  

E                     Fm7
Beautiful ladies in danger, danger all round the world, 
A                      B
I will protect them, because I am Chris de Burgh 
E          D         A         E      
Beautiful ladies in emergency situations 


E                      F#m7
Beautiful ladies are lovely, but sometimes they don't take care,
A                                     B 
They're too busy with their makeup, or combing their lovely hair 
E        D            A
To take basic safety precautions 
E                         F#
But I will protect them, I will save the pretty ones, 
                                      A
With their smiles and their sparkling eyes 
E           D         A
But let the ugly ones die 
          E                                A
I have no place for them, in my new world order 

E                 D      A       E
I won't waste my seed on hideous trolls. 
F#m                     A
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the trolls, 
E                                B
Hunt them down there shall be no clemency 
F#m                     A
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the trolls, 
E              D         A                 E
Look under the bridges - that's where they hide 
(that's where they hide) 
    D             A    E
And beauty shall be my bride. 

Beautiful Ladies

Intro
G  Cmaj7  G


Verse
G               Cmaj7
The horse, Is a noble Beast,
         D
From the mustang from the west,
         Cmaj7           G
To the Stallion to the east.

        Cmaj7                    G
But the horse has a distant cousin,
     Cmaj7                G
It lives i do not know where,
         Cmaj7                G
But its message of racial harmony,
    Em7               D    
Is one that we all can share.


Chorus

      G        (Cmaj7 optional)
Hats off to the zebra,
       Cmaj7       G
He is black and white,
Cmaj7        G                Em7              D
He doesnt fight because there not very good at it.

      Cmaj7          G
In a world of confusion,
   Cmaj7        G
We all need a sign
     Cmaj7              G
If only we could live side by side,
           Em7               D
like the stripes on a zebras spine.

              G
Hat's off to the Zebras,

G
The humble badger,
       Cmaj7
Takes a sip of mornin' dew
        D
But he's totally colour blind,
   Cmaj7           G
So he cant judge you.
      Cmaj7              G
But the badger is a dreamer
    Cmaj7           G
The badger has a plan
    Cmaj7           G          Em7              D
He knows that his destiny is to help his fellow man.

Chorus

N.C.            G
Hats of to the badgers,
          Cmaj7        G
They are black and white
     Cmaj7        G
and they dont fight,
            Em/Em7                 D
except for mating rights and territory.


   Cmaj7               G
Black man and a white man,
   Cmaj7             G
Both they need to shave,
   Cmaj7      G
United by the badger brush
     Em7                 D
Hes helping from beyond the grave.
                 G
Hats off to the badger
            Cmaj7     G
What about the tapir
      Cmaj7       G
half zebra half pig-a
 Cmaj7      G
imagine the 'stig-ma
       Cmaj7            G
but the tapir stands proud
                Cmaj7   G
hats off to the tapir.

Cmaj7         G
Badgers and zebras,
  Cmaj7      G
Skunks.. Oh yeah,
    Cmaj7        G
And ring tailed lemurs
Cmaj      G
Living together
  Em7
In harmony
              D (strum)
And if the.. Killer whales can do it,
   (repeat intro)
why cant we.


Hats Off To The Zebras

          G
Well I'll put myself through sexual strife 
   Csus2
If it'll save a poor kids life 
  G                              D
I will not look at titties for a year
           G
Well if it stops and Iraqi becoming dead 
        Csus2
I won't spill my seed on a motel bed
  G                D             G
I will not look at titties for a year
         G               
Well the internets been my downfall 
  Csus2         
I call it Beelzebub's shopping
     G                                D   
I've been the happiest shopper........er
     G
I've got enough filth under my bed 
       Csus2
To maintain an erection until I'm dead
  G                D             G
I will not look at titties for a year
         C                        
Well the folks in Africa have been waiting 
    G
For us to stop our manipulating 
                                        D     C
Spend our porn dollars on international aid
           G 
Well if it pays for a pizza to Pakistan 
     Csus2
I'll quit jerking of for Ramadan
  G                D  
I will not look at titties 
     G/B         Csus2
Well maybe for a couple of months
  G                D             G
I will not look at titties for a year

I Will Not Look At Titties For A Year

Em7                            A7sus4
A cat cries out in the night        meow
Em7                            A7sus4
A dog cries out in the night        woof
Em7                                   A7sus4
A cat and a dog cry out in the night        meow   woof
Em7                  D           A 
Two cats and dog cry out in the night   meow  woof  meow

        C                   D 
But the government    yeah    Doesn't hear
              C                           Em7
It's just the politics of fear   Boo ahh

Em7                            A7sus4
A tramp cries out in the night     argh
Em7                                     A7sus4
A tramp and a cat cry out in the night      argh  meow
Em7                                       A7sus4
two tramps and a cat cry out in the night     argh  meow  argh
Em7                        D              A       
two tramps a dog and a cat cry out in the night  argh  meow  argh  woof

         C            D          A
And it's midnight in parliament square   BONG
C            D          Em7
midnight in parliament square  

Midnight In Parliment Square

G                  Cadd9     Dsus4                 G
I used to buy my chips from an oppresive chip shop regeme
G                          Cadd9               Dsus4                   G
the girl who worked there she seemed happy but i knew it was not what it seemed
C                     D            Em               
do you wan't salt and viniger?  Is what they made her say
           C                  D               G[      Stop      ]G  
but in the language of the ghetto that means help i'm a woman in chains

G
I wanted to free her, 
                     C                 D                      G
in my dreams i would see her running naked in the woods round Raynem
     C                   G
If i had some tigers i'd train em 

[ wait for a few bars]

G
To protect her
         C       [let ring]      D    [let ring]   G [strum normally]
from the sexual fashism that was lerking round the gerkin

G                    Cadd9              G
i'd lean accross the counter and we would talk
  G                  Cadd9  [   stop    ] G
I carved the name debbie on a little wooden fork
     C                    D                    G                 Em
When into the shop came a skin head gang, they snatched the fork from my hand
C          D             Em
Debbie she looked at me, to assert my masculinity 
       C
I said OI!!!!
          D
they said What?
       G
I said nothing 

Enjoy!

Unisex Chipshop

Intro: C D C D (x2)


C D
Si es que no puedes hablar
C D
no te atrevas a volver
C D
si te quieres ocultar
C D
tal vez te podria ver
Em D C G C
y el amor que no sabe a quien y que
G C
hablará si tu verdad
Em F
te abrazara otra vez

Em C
Habla si puedes
G C
grita que sientes
Em C
dime a quien quieres
G C
y te hace feliz

C D


C D
Si no puedes escuchar
C D
aunque insistas hablaré
C D
si lo quieres mírame
C D
y tus ojos hablaran tal vez
Em D C G C
sentiras el amor e iras tras el
G C
hablaras si tu verdad
Em F
te abrazará otra vez

Em C
Habla si puedes
G C
grita que sientes
Em C
dime a quien quieres
G D
y te hace feliz
Em C
habla si puedes
G C
grita si temes
Em C
dime a quien quieres
G D
y te hace feliz


Em G C G
.(CUERDAS)... abrazaméeeeeeeee..
C Em F
quiero despertarme y entender

Em C
habla si puedes
G C
grita si temes
Em C
dime a quien quieres
G D
y que haces aquì
Em C
habla si puedes
G C
grita que sientes
Em C
dime a quien quieres
G C
y te hace feliz
G C
y te hace feliz

C D
(fin)

Habla si puedes

LA RE
Jo et duré a casa si fa mal temps
MI FA#m
Jo t’empararé si un cas tens por
SIm MI
Jo te cuidaré si estàs malalta
RE LA
De tot cor, de tot cor
RE REm LA
De tot cor

MI RE DO#m-SIm-LA

FA#m DO#m
Estic a punt d’anar-me’n
RE LA RE
Mes abans de partir et diré
REm LA
Que et duc dins es pensament

FA#m DO#m
No deix de recordar-te
RE LA RE
I alen els teus alens tot calents
REm SIm MI
De lluny i de prop me tens


Jo et duré...

FA#m DO#m
I a dalt de s’escenari
RE LA RE
Quan estic concentrat cantant
REm MI
Jo sempre te tenc present

FA#m DO#m
Perquè m’ets necessari
RE LA
Com s’aire que respir
RE REm SIm MI
Necessit estar amb tu en tot moment


Jo et duré... ( bis )

De tot cor

Verse 1:
           B
I'm going back to the time when we owned this town
      E
Down Powder Mill Lane, in the battlegrounds
C#m        B                   G#m  B     F#
We were friends and lovers and clueless clowns


Verse 2:
                      B       
I didn't know I'd be finding out now I was torn from you
         E
When we thought about things we were gonna do
C#m      B                    G#m B  F# 
We were wide eyed dreamers and wiser too


Chorus:
               E              B 
Go down to the rides on East Parade,
        G#m                   F#
by the lights of the Palace Arcade
                    E                     G#m   F#   
Watch night coming down on the Sovereign Light Café


Verse 3:
                          B
I'm begging you for some sign, but you've still got nothing to say
        E
Don't turn your back on me, don't walk away
C#m     B                   G#m  B   F#
I'm a better man now than I was that day


Chorus:
                      E              B 
Let's go down to the rides on East Parade,
        G#m                   F#
by the lights of the Palace Arcade
                    E                     G#m   F#   
Watch night coming down on the Sovereign Light Café

                 E               B
Go down to the bandstand on the pier
           G#m                    F#
Watch the drunks and the lovers appear
                      E                     G#m   F#     
Take time, just the stars at the Sovereign Light Café


Bridge:
   E        B           F#
I wheel my bike off the train,
        F#
Up the North Trade Road,
 E        B             F# 
Look for you on Marley Lane
                          G#m
In every building, every streetlight
                   E               F#  G#m  B  F#
Oh why did we ever go so far from home?


Verse 4:
                        B
You keep on leaving me mile long traces of who you are
         E
You can get a big house and a faster car
C#m      B                    G#m   B  F#
You can run away boy, but you won't go far


Chorus:
                      E              B
Let's go down to the rides on East Parade,
        G#m                   F#
by the lights of the Palace Arcade
                    E                     G#m   F#   
Watch night coming down on the Sovereign Light Café

                    E                B
Stroll down to the bandstand on the pier
           G#m                    F#
Watch the drunks and the lovers appear
                     E                      G#m   F#
Take time, just the stars at the Sovereign Light Café 

      E            B    G#m
La la la la la la la la Yeah, 
     F#                      E       B   F#
I'm going where the people know my name


Outro:
E B G#m F#
E B G#m F# B

Sovereign Light Cafe

C#
There's a portrait
     Ab
In a back room
           F#
Which I'll keep for days upon
          C#
Which I relent 
              B
And gaze for hours on
    Bbm                  F#
The muscle, skin and bone
         Ab
Of some imaginary friend

F# Ab F#

        C#
So how about it 
        Ab
Show me please 
           F#
How I will look in twenty years
           C#
And let me please 
          B
Interpret history 
       Bbm        F#
In every line and scar 
               Ab                  
That's painted there in front of me

F# Ab F# Ab F# Ab

           C#
It doesn't matter
         Ab
What I'm thinking
       F#
What I tell myself to do
         C#      F#
I end up calling

       C#
I stay in to
                   Ab
Defrost the fridge
        F#
Now the kid has gone to bed
             C#
A feeling of dread
              B         
At least when she's around
    Bbm
The trouble's there
     F#                        Ab
It's worse to wake up with her falling 'round the room

F# Ab F# Ab F# Ab

       C#
Listen Johnny
              F#
You're like a mother
       C#                     F#
To the girl you've fallen for
                 C#
And you're still falling

       C#
Listen Johnny
              Ab
You're like a mother
       F#
To the girl you've fallen for
                 C#
And you're still falling

            B
And if they come tonight
       Bbm
You'll roll up tight
     F#             Ab
And take whatever's coming to you next (oh, oh oh oh)

 F# Ab to end.

Slow Graffiti

Dm         Bb      Gm
 And if you save yourself
A        Bb       C
 You will make him happy
Dm             Bb   Gm
 He'll keep you in a jar
A          Bb        C
 And you'll think you're happy
Dm             Bb         Gm
 He'll give you breathing holes
A          Bb        C
 And you'll think you're happy
Dm          Bb      Gm
 He'll cover you with grass
A          Bb        C
 And you'll think you're happy

Dm
 Now
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb               Gm         Bb   A 
 The clue that came to you, ohh

Dm         Bb     Gm
 And if you cut yourself
A        Bb        C
 You will think you're happy
Dm             Bb   Gm
 He'll keep you in a jar
A           Bb       C
 And you'll think you're happy
Dm             Bb         Gm
 He'll give you breathing holes
A           Bb        C
 Then you'll think you're happy
Dm          Bb       Gm
 He'll cover you with grass
A            Bb       C
 Then you'll think you're happy

Dm
 Now
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb               Gm         Bb   A 
 The clue that came to you, ohh

#SOLO

Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb               Gm         Bb   A 
 The clue that came to you, ohh

Dm         Bb      Gm
 And if you fool yourself
A         Bb          C
 You will think you're happy
Dm             Bb   Gm
 He'll keep you in a jar
A          Bb          C
 And you'll think you're happy
Dm             Bb         Gm
 He'll give you breathing holes
A          Bb       C
 Then you will seem happy
Dm            Bb      Gm
 You'll wallow in his shit
A            Bb       C
 Then you'll think you're happy

Dm
 Now
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb            Gm
 You're in a laundry room,
Bb               Gm         Bb   A 
 The clue that came to you, ohh

Sappy

INTRO:

G#m
Something that can make you do wrong
And make you do right
Love..........

CHORUS:
               D7     C#7     B
Love and happi-ness...

VERSE:
                           G#m
Wait a minute...something's going wrong
Someone's on the phone...three o'clock in the morning, yeah
Talkin' about how she can make it right, yeah
Well, happiness is when you really feel good about somebody
Nothing wrong with being in love with someone, yeah...
[Chorus]

You be good to me...I'll be good to you
We'll be together, yeah
We'll see each other...Walk away with victory
[Chorus]

Make you do right... love'll make you do wrong
Make you come home early...make you stay out all night long
The power of love...
[Chorus]

Wait a minute, let me tell you...
The power of love...
Make you do right... love'll make you do wrong...
Make you want to dance...
[Chorus]

Love And Happiness

A|----------------------------------0-2-------2------------|
E|-----------0-2-0-2-2-------0---0------1-0----------------|
C|-----------------------2-2---2------------2---2----------|
G|-4-4-4-2-4-----------------------------------------------|
                                                             
A|-----5-4-2------------------------0-2-------2------------|
E|-----------0-2-0-2-2-------0---0------1-0----------------|
C|-----------------------2-2---2------------2---2----------|
G|-4-4-----------------------------------------------------|

Zebra

C                     G
Se a vida as vezes dá uns dias de segundos cinzas
           Am           F
E o tempo tic taca devagar
         Dm                   Am
Ponha o teu melhor vestido, brilha teu sorriso
      F              C
Vem pra cá, vem pra cá

                                     G
Se a vida muitas vezes só chuvisca, só garôa
        Am               F
E tudo não parece funcionar
         Dm                  Am
Deixe esse problema a toa, pra ficar na boa
      C
Vem pra cá

Refrão:
            Am              F
Do lado de cá, a vista é bonita
          C           G
A maré é boa de provar
            Am                 F
Do lado de cá, eu vivo tranquila
                  C          E7
E o meu corpo dança sem parar
            F                  C                 G
Do lado de cá, tem música, amigos e alguém para amar
            C G Am F
Do lado de cá
            C G Am F
Do lado de cá

refrão:
           Am            F
Do lado de cá, a vista é bonita
          C           G
A maré é boa de provar
            Am                 F
Do lado de cá, eu vivo tranquila
                  C          E7
E o meu corpo dança sem parar
            F                 C                 G
Do lado de cá, tem música, amigos e alguém para amar
            Am
Do lado de cá

             Am7M            Am7
A vida é agora, vê se não demora
  Dm            E7
Pra recomeçar
Am           Am7M          Am7
É so ter vontade de felicidade
  Dm     G
Pra pular

Refrão:
            Am              F
Do lado de cá, a vista é bonita
          C        G
A maré é boa de provar
            Am                 F
Do lado de cá, eu vivo tranquila
                  C         E7
E o meu corpo dança sem parar
              F                C                  G
Do lado de cá, tem música, amigos e alguém para amar
            C G Am F
Do lado de cá
            C G Am F
Do lado de cá
            ( C G Am F ) (2x)
Do lado de cá

Do Lado De Cá

C#m
Tienes que bailarlo natural

Puedes ir bailándolo hacia fuera
F#m
Entra en el abismo musical
 		       C#m
En un mundo demencial
	       G#m C#m
Los que bailan se contentan

E		   C#m
Llegas en la noche sideral

Traes en tu cuerpo la marea
F#m
Siento que comienzo a respirar

Ese ritmo que me das
C#m	   G#m		C#m
Movimiento que se queda

Coro:
        A
Por eso baila, baila
	F#m
Por eso gira, gira
	     B	   C#m
Para toda la noche
        A
Por eso baila, baila
	F#m
Por eso gira, gira
	     B	   C#m
Para toda la vida

A 
Baila, baila sin control
F#m
Baila, baila sin razón   
B			   C#m
Baila, baila, para toda la noche
A 
Baila, baila sin control
F#m
Baila, baila sin razón   
B			      C#m
Baila, baila, para toda la Vida


B 			    C#m
En la espera llega la señal

Cuando te contemplo, yo me acerco
F#m
Deja tus sentidos encontrar
			C#m
Otro paso irregular, para entrar en otra esfera

B 				  C#m
Por eso baila solo, baila siempre libre

No dejes que nada en la vida te	detenga
       A	       F#m
Porque vas en un fuego lunar
	C#m		  G#m       C#m
Que en la noche y en el día siempre vuela 

Coro:
        A
Por eso baila, baila
	F#m
Por eso gira, gira
	     B	   C#m
Para toda la noche
        A
Por eso baila, baila
	F#m
Por eso gira, gira
	     B	   C#m
Para toda la vida

A 
Baila, baila sin control
F#m
Baila, baila sin razón   
B			   C#m
Baila, baila, para toda la noche
A 
Baila, baila sin control
F#m
Baila, baila sin razón   
B			      C#m
Baila, baila, para toda la Vida

A B C#m E

A
Llega la noche sideral
B
Entro al abismo musical
C#m
Porque en un mundo demencial
      E		            A
Sigo bailando y no me importa (x3)

Coro:
        A
Por eso baila, baila
	F#m
Por eso gira, gira
	     B	   C#m
Para toda la noche
        A
Por eso baila, baila
	F#m
Por eso gira, gira
	     B	   C#m
Para toda la vida

A 
Baila, baila sin control
F#m
Baila, baila sin razón   
B			   C#m
Baila, baila, para toda la noche
A 
Baila, baila sin control
F#m
Baila, baila sin razón   
B			      C#m
Baila, baila, para toda la Vida

Baila

C
Working the village shop
E
Putting a poster up
Am
Dreaming of anything
C              Am               Em               Dm
Dreaming of the time when you're free from all the trouble you're in

C
In the mud, on your knees
E
Trying hard not to please
Am
Anyone, all the time
C              Am
Being a rebel's fine
           Em            C
But you go all the way to being brutal

Chorus:
G
You will have a boy tonight
You will have a boy tonight
F
On the first bus out of town
On the first bus out of town

Let's see your kit for games
All the girls look the same
You are challenging style for running miles
You're running miles in some boy's jumper

Boo to the business world!
You know a girl who's tax free on her back and making
Plenty cash
While you are working for the joy of giving

Chorus:
You will have a boy tonight
You will have a boy tonight
And you hope that she will see
And you hope that she will see

You are in two minds
Tossing a coin to decide whether you should tell your mum
About a dose of thrush you got while licking railings

But you read in a book
That you got free from Boots
There are lotions, there are potions
You can take to hide your shame from all those prying eyes

Lazy Jane, all the time
Painting lines
You sleeping at bus stops
Wondering how you got your name
And what you're going to do about it.

Chorus

Beautiful Ladies	No rating	intermediate	Chords	Full
Hats Off To The Zebras	No rating	beginner	Chords	Full
I Will Not Look At Titties For A Year	No rating	intermediate	Chords	Full
Midnight In Parliment Square	No rating	beginner	Chords	Full
Unisex Chipshop	No rating	beginner	Chords	Full

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